“Will I survive today? Will I really do this? Why? What for?” all these questions are tumbling in my head. It is only 6 am. Polina, Mariya and 2 year-old Zoya, 3 beautiful and brave girls volunteered to keep me company during my hair raising event. Our car is heading to a military base. It’s an almost 3 hour drive and the girls are using the opportunity to compensate their early morning with a well deserved nap enroute. I am ready to do the same, but I am tasked with having to navigate two things: my car and my mind. “Am I really going to do this,” I ask myself as I continue my early morning journey.